STRESS AWARENESS MONTH - HERE IS A LITTLE STORY..

It's a long one... ready...?

Stress, fear, anxiety, imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, negative self-perception, and self-worth (among many other inner feelings) set off within us a negative reaction, first in the mind and later in the body…

If we leave these emotions unresolved we allow negative reactions to take place and they can be like slow-moving dominos one having an effect on the next… And when the dominos have run out, the negative reactions start working on our bodies because they have nowhere else to go.

I was once asked when I was about 22 after being in remission from Hodgkins lymphoma, what I thought had caused my cancer and I said very clearly without any doubt in my mind whatsoever, that it was stress that I had not personally dealt with that had eventually made me sick. These questions came from another young Hodgkins lymphoma patient who immediately agreed with me as we compared scars that he had felt exactly the same.

He then asked me what I thought had helped me get through it and come out the other side and again I knew without a doubt that a level of naivety about the seriousness of the situation coupled with the power of my mindset was what had got me through and clear. At the time there was absolutely no way and no doubt in my mind that I would get through it and be fine, regardless of diagnosis. Maybe it was my age at the time that added credence to the fact that I ‘knew’ I would be fine, but I also remember a strong pull to making sure that I did not let the noise of self-doubt, negative cancer articles that started to beam at me from papers (also known as selection bias) and with a healthy or unhealthy slather of denial, I did not let my mind entertain an alternative outcome.

(All the incredible specialists, doctors, nurses, staff, and patients at the Royal Marsden and all my family and friends, thank you for doing absolutely everything else!!!)

I actually remember my partner at the time, saying to me that the wife of a friend had asked him quite blankly without empathy or tact while we were all sitting having a drink in the pub, if I was going to make it or how long I had left… and I thought…. The audacity? I mean how could she even ask that question…? That strong was my willpower in keeping my mindset locked off from any negativity. In fact, I remember well not wanting to be treated like a patient and was not at all able to deal with the sideways sympathy glances and those wanting to take my hand in theirs with a sideways smile. F-off I thought, unaware of how bad I actually looked at the time with no hair, eyebrows, or vitality left in my overly puffed-up face.

I have been reminded of all this today after reading an article by the wonderful @Sophiesabbage, about the use of language around being someone diagnosed with cancer, which after reading it sparked an immediate bounce in me to act.

Something that I have always disliked is the word Lucky! I am lucky it wasn’t worse, lucky to be alive, lucky to have got through the other side, lucky I had a supportive family… I do not feel lucky to have survived cancer. I feel incredibly happy not to have cancer anymore. And I feel incredibly thankful that so many elements came together to make me well again and I am over the moon to have got past cancer and again now for a second time… that’s another story ;)

But why do we need to use words like… Battling cancer, like we are at war. Surviving cancer like we have won the battle or otherwise lost it. And that’s just the overview… The doom of the BIG C, the worst news you will ever hear…

The problem with these terms and the use of this language is that it triggers the typical stress response within us, the flight or fight reaction brought on by fear, all of which react negatively in our minds and therefore our bodies. Just ask Timothy Gallwey author of The Inner Game of Stress…  Brilliant book btw!

I can even relate a version of the power of this to my own yoga practice with Yogawithlucybackhouse.com from this morning when she said… “Now when you move your leg forward, try not to think about it as if it were a heavy leg that might be stiff from other activities and feels weighed down… think of it as a little fairly leg that’s light and bouncy” and I kid you not, within seconds my leg felt lighter and easier to maneuver. It’s our perception of these things, our mindset, that has a HUGE, HUGE impact and often detrimental effect on what we do every single day.

I am on my own journey and am still learning every day how to better manage my own stress, my own negative behaviors, or limiting mindsets and to remember to be that 20-year old who had naivety and a positive mindset coming out of her ears. Take on stress, Take on your mindset!

#stressawarnessday #stressawarenessmonth

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